A recent poll found that high school girls are now less likely than boys to say they want to get married. Twelfth grade boys have stayed relatively consistent in their choice to get married since 1993. In comparison, between 1993 and 2023, the number of twelfth grade girls who would choose to get married has dropped from 83 percent to 61 percent. That’s over a fifth of all teenage girls now desiring to say “no” rather than “I do.”
Marriage has taken a beating in recent years. There’s plenty of data showing that marriage rates have been on the decline for decades. People blame inflation, global terrorism, and housing prices. Yet, these things have always been a part of our lives. In the 1930s, when inflation and foreign wars were of the utmost concern, there were still higher marriage rates than there are today. Poor marriage rates aren’t a reflection of political circumstances, they’re a reflection of culture.
The main reason why marriage has become so undesirable is because of feminism. This broadly defined movement initially set out to liberate females from their societal oppression. In its initial form, it encouraged women to have the right to vote and gave them additional career opportunities. Today, it’s mutated into a movement that actively denigrates all traditional gender roles. It ironically claims that there’s no difference between men and women, but women are somehow still superior. Feminism advocated for abortion, expanded the welfare state, and crushed domestic life under its heel.
It’s toxic. And it’s become so deeply ingrained in our culture that it can often be hard to define. It can be extremely subtle, and its innocuous facade allowed it to poison peoples’ minds. It’s important to be able to recognize it, because it twists humanity’s sinful nature to appear good.
Feminism is self-centered. It says that husbands and children are a burden. It turns men into rivals. It encourages women to use their beauty to provoke lust. It makes women view other women as competitors. And it relies on emotional manipulation.
The only way to defeat feminism is through embracing femininity. Feminism is self-inflicted, whereas femininity is a gift from God that should be cherished.
Femininity can’t be self centered. God created Eve to be Adam’s helpmate (Gen. 2:18). God designed these two beings to work together. When women learn to depend on their families, their husbands, and their communities, they aren’t being weak. Dependence helps build bonds that strengthen peoples’ lives. Dependence is a necessity, it gives people purpose and passion. When feminists claim to be “a strong independent woman,” they’re claiming to be self-sufficient. Regardless of how smart, strong, or capable any one person is, human beings were created to be in community with others.
Rejecting the selfish messaging of feminism destroys the rest of its toxic residue. Femininity loves family life, because it rejoices in serving parents, husbands, and children. Femininity knows that men are brothers in Christ who have distinctive talents. Femininity uses its beauty to encourage and uplift. Femininity allows women to find peace and joy in other women. Femininity is devoted to the good, the true, and the virtuous.
Young women have been cornered by the lies of feminism. They’ve been told that marriage is slavery, men are their conquerors, and they’ll only be happy by fulfilling their own desires. The messaging is inescapable. On television, men are depicted as bumbling oafs. In songs, singers encourage women to “buy their own flowers.” Online, women are encouraged to post scandalous photos of themselves to earn likes and followers. Podcasters, comedians, actors, and influencers are all pushing the lies of feminism. It’s no wonder the phrase “I hate men” has become an oft-repeated sentiment for Gen Z.
The path out of feminism’s murky depths is lit by Christian humility. It’s not an easy path. I, myself, will be the first to admit that I am often very selfish and combative. Thankfully, as God’s mercy corrects me, I am able to distance myself from the egotism of feminism. It’s a long process of pruning, but it results in love, prosperity, and the lasting joy found only in Christ.
My apologies, Zoomers. I don’t hate men. I’m actually really grateful God made them.
