Today, we face a growing crisis of masculinity.
Too many young men have grown up without male leadership or with a poor male role model. Without clear guidance on what it means to be a man, they’re left vulnerable to cultural messages that portray masculinity as inherently toxic. In this narrative, the only “good” man is one who abandons his masculine nature altogether.
In response to this cultural void, a wave of influencers emerged to speak directly to these disoriented young men. Figures like Justin Waller and the Tate brothers promote an “alpha male” ideology — one that emphasizes dominance, ambition, and the pursuit of success and sexual conquest. While this approach does tap into certain natural masculine drives, such as strength, competition, and the desire for achievement, it ultimately falls short.
Both these extremes are wrong because they lack a critical virtue that defines authentic masculinity: meekness.
Meekness is often misunderstood as weakness or passivity, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In the Gospel of Matthew, Christ describes Himself as “meek and humble of heart.” Christ was in no way weak or submissive as He was God incarnate, the most powerful being ever to walk the Earth. Yet He was gentle and merciful. His meekness was not a lack of strength but the perfect mastery of it.
C.S. Lewis captures this principle beautifully in “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” when Susan learns that Aslan is a lion. She asks if he is safe, and Mr. Beaver responds: “Safe? … Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he is good.”
A masculine man is not safe, but he is good because he is meek and humble of heart. Male nature is characterized by physical strength, competitive spirit, and sexual drive, yet none of these traits make a man safe. In fact, these inherently male traits can lead one to abuse, dominate, and manipulate if uncontrolled.
Feminist critiques of inherent male characteristics are not wrong to identify the potential harm that these deleterious/detrimental traits can cause.l. However, the answer is not to suppress these traits, but to refine them. These masculine traits that can be used for evil purposes are the same traits that push men to build civilization, produce large families, provide for those they love, and serve their wives. A masculine man is not safe, but his meekness makes him good. He has the prudence and self-control to use his inherent characteristics for his good and the good of others.
Authentic masculinity is characterized by strength of character, a father’s protective heart, respect for women, and an attitude of service. Masculine nature can be likened to a fire: If a fire is out of control, it causes destruction. Conversely, when a fire is too weak, people are left hungry and cold in the dark. But when a fire is controlled, it provides light, warmth, and safety. Your masculinity is not toxic, and should not be suppressed, but that does not mean it should be uncontrolled.
I once heard a story of a young woman who asked her father what she should look for in a husband. He pondered for a moment and said, “Find a man who can fast.” There were a multitude of things he could have said, but he believed this was the mark of a good man because a man who can fast is a man who has the capability to deny himself. This father believed that meekness was what his daughter should look for when finding a husband.
We live in a time where it is increasingly difficult to live in the balance where authentic masculinity lies, but strength is found in the struggle. So men, be patient with yourselves as you strive toward being authentically masculine. Model yourselves after Christ by being meek and humble of heart. Only then will you have the capability to love, protect, and provide for those entrusted to you as a masculine man ought.
The world doesn’t need less masculinity — it needs more men who are strong enough to be meek.
