I hear from my female peers that they desire a strong, masculine man — “a manly man.”
The concept of masculinity is very blurred and tarnished in our society from the onslaught of feminism, the fracturing of families, and corrupt celebrities such as Andrew Tate. Tate made himself an international celebrity through a wealthy and luxurious lifestyle, fighting in the ring, his licentious lifestyle with many women, and through so-called “based” comments and opinions over the last few years. Tate’s prowess has attracted or converted thousands of men to his way of living, outlook on the world, and idea of what a masculine man is.
This controversial example has made many ask the question, what is masculinity? Must men be like Andrew Tate to be manly?
Not many people take the time to research everything about Tate and how he became successful. Aside from making a name for himself in martial arts, he began his journey to great success by opening a porn studio/sex-cam business and investing heavily in the casino industry. Through the years, he’s admittedly been in relationships while sleeping with a multitude of women – believing it’s natural for men to be polygynous. The height of life and success is fun, comfort, and luxury. I am not here to condemn Tate, for God is the knower of hearts and knows what’s in his heart. I cannot judge others, yet I can discern between a fulfilling and destructive path.
Tate said in a podcast that man has the, “…instinct to conquer.” And I agree with him, we do.
Just not in the way which Tate implies. This instinct of conquering is our drive to succeed, provide, be good stewards, and above all else, to conquer all passions and sin. For a man who is conquering his passions, what qualities does a masculine man have?
The book of Proverbs points us to the first quality which I believe men must possess: the fear of God.
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. The foolish man believes he is in charge of his destiny when God can give or allow it to be taken. The wise man understands that despite our valuable and beautiful gift of free will, we are small and weak compared to God’s glory and majesty, for He created and knows all things. A man who knows he has no power without God is a discerning and wise man who wishes to live a life pleasing to God. Over time, living to please God will not be out of fear but out of love.
Another quality which men ought to strive for is honor. But what is honor? The mainstream translation is respect and esteem towards something, but honor has a deeper meaning: sacrifice out of love.
As Paul wrote to all husbands in Ephesians, love your wife as Christ loved the Church. Christ allowed Himself to be crucified by His own people to save us. Additionally, we are taught that there is no greater love than laying one’s life down for a friend.
Finding a sacrificial man is one out of 10,000 because the current pillar of our society is not sacrifice but self-love, self-care, luxury, fun, and securing our comfort. I have seen too many scandalous examples of a woman being attacked, someone being robbed, or physical fighting break among youth – while the male bystanders are pulling out their phones to record and watch.
An honourable man sacrifices much, seeks justice, gives mercy, and protects the helpless and innocent. Honor among men may be far and few between but this does not exempt us from being devoted to caring and loving others as ourselves.
This brings me to the next masculine quality, devotion. Devotion can take many different forms – some good and some bad. A good, masculine form of devotion is being productive servants in ways that are pleasing in the eyes of God. God gifts every man with talents in different ways and degrees. The last thing we should do is ungratefully squander our gifts. Instead, we should utilize them like the good and faithful servants in the parable. Devotion to working hard and being diligent with our gifts helps us to become more devoted husbands, fathers, neighbors, and servants of God. If we have poor devotion in small things, how will we have devotion in greater things?
According to the world, this is probably the most despicable and blasphemous quality of all, self-control.
Self-control is the ability to resist harmful stumbling blocks meant to destroy us. A man with no control is worse than a spoiled child. Our society is being led by the erroneous teaching of doing what we want … to the utmost extreme.
We lack such control that we poison and rip apart innocent babies because we want to have sex without the responsibility of bearing and raising children. Aside from the many vices of our day men face, polygamy is growing and ever more appealing. It’s carnally appealing to see a very wealthy man with many women at their disposal, like Dan Bilzerian or Andrew Tate.
We’re also seeing the emergence of “throuple” influencers on social media. In a new poll, almost a quarter of Americans believe polygamy to be permissible, even moral. On top of this, we are dealing with a culture where the average amount of women a man sleeps with before marriage is around 6.3 women.
Women have this issue as well, but my focus is on men. Our desire for multiple sexual partners is not a natural inclination of men, as many believe.
However, it is one of our fallen inclinations.
Just as God created one woman for Adam to be a life mate, so do most men desire to have a mutually committed relationship and be united to one woman. Our true inclination is unity to one woman who desires, respects, and loves us. A monogamous relationship gives us comfort, strength, stability, and purpose in life.
The most bizarre yet the most important thing a man can do is know himself. Knowledge of oneself is the understanding of our strengths, shortcomings, and weaknesses of the passions we encounter. The curiosity of a small, tempting thought can fester and obtain power over us.
It takes a formidable and discerning soul to achieve a high level of knowing himself. St. Anthony the Great of the 3rd and 4th centuries taught that a man who knows himself knows God. A man that knows himself has authority over the wandering mind, a foul tongue, and the carnal snares of the body. He can put aside the things that will separate him from God.
The truly masculine man, as illustrated in this article, seems to be impossible to find and unachievable for men. None of us can preach perfection about ourselves. But what’s stopping our attempt? The life of a virtuous masculine man is a struggle and will always be a struggle. It’s our duty to continue the fight every day to achieve virtuous masculinity.
You won’t find masculinity in great riches, luxury cars, or having many women. You do not need to be great in the world to be a great man.
You may find virtuous masculinity in a passing stranger on the street, a neighbor, a friend, a relative, and most importantly … in yourself. It’s time to be men. It’s time to fight the good fight.
