In our modern culture, sexual ethics is often viewed as a list of “no’s.” No sex before marriage. No masturbation. No pornography. No contraception. Without a proper understanding of sexual ethics, it becomes a confusing, arbitrary task of determining what to do and what not to do, particularly when young conservatives weigh Natural Family Planning (NFP) against contraception. Yet, at its heart, sexual ethics is not a list of “no’s,” but a singular “yes.” A yes to freedom from the chains of lust. A yes to love. A love of God that is free, total, faithful, and fruitful.
NFP (sometimes jokingly referred to as “no fun periodically”) involves tracking a woman’s fertility through observable biomarkers, such as cervical mucus, temperature, or hormone levels. When a couple wishes to avoid pregnancy, they simply abstain from sex during fertile periods. When practiced correctly, NFP achieves effectiveness rates comparable to – and in some studies, surpassing – those of artificial contraception. This raises the question: if both methods aim to prevent pregnancy, why is one thought of as morally permissible and the other is not in the Catholic worldview?
To understand the nature of sex, it’s essential to understand its purpose. Just as a chair provides rest and eating nourishes, sex is designed for procreation and the union of spouses. Any deliberate effort against an object’s end violates its nature. For instance, rape is universally condemned as immoral because it violates the unitive purpose of sex. Similarly, contraception sterilizes sex, actively working against the procreative purpose of sex. NFP, by contrast, works within natural bodily processes. By abstaining from sex during fertile periods, couples do not sever the unitive or procreative aspects of sex, and therefore do not violate the nature of sex. Contraception, however, not only violates the nature of sex, but it also violates our human nature.
By applying the same epistemological method to understand the nature of sex, we uncover truths about human nature. We are made for God. God is love. Therefore, we are made for love. Emmanuel Kant’s second categorical imperative emphasizes the importance of human dignity, stating that human beings are always ends in themselves rather than means to an end. Contraceptives violate human dignity by making sex an act of mere use rather than love. They sterilize the act and place an artificial barrier between the couple. Instead of giving themselves fully to one another in love, they use the other for their pleasure.
It may be argued that the couple can become one by jointly pursuing each other’s pleasure, insisting it is not an act of exploitation. However, pleasure is an inherently personal experience; two cannot engage in mutual pleasure. Even if both partners derive pleasure from the same act, the experience of pleasure is unique to the individual.
Aside from philosophy, science also supports NFP over contraception. Studies suggest that couples who use NFP have a lower likelihood of divorce than couples who use contraception. Furthermore, hormonal birth control has multiple side effects, such as thinning the endometrial lining, decreased fertility, and higher rates of depression, anxiety, fatigue, neurotic symptoms, sexual disturbances, compulsion, anger, and negative menstrual effects.
Barrier methods aren’t risk-free either: Studies show that condoms may promote pre-eclampsia. Not to mention, intercourse without a condom is shown to decrease depression. These findings indicate tangible rational and physiological benefits when couples work with, rather than against, the body’s natural reproductive design. Perhaps this evidence suggests that there is a benefit of not working against what the reproductive system is designed to do.
A friend once quipped in a conversation about NFP, “We are Catholic, we talk about death and sex.” Although comedic, it’s true. Catholics talk about sexual ethics not out of prudishness, but out of reverence for the beauty of sex and the dignity of the human person. Some may understandably view the prohibition on contraception as an unnecessary burden. Yet in “Veritatis Splendor,” St. John Paul II wrote:
“Those who live ‘by the flesh’ experience God’s law as a burden, and indeed as a denial or at least a restriction of their own freedom. On the other hand, those who are impelled by love and ‘walk by the Spirit”'(Gal 5:16)…find in God’s Law the fundamental and necessary way in which to practice love as something freely chosen and freely lived out.”
We live in a culture that prizes self-satisfaction. Contraception promises sex at any time without the consequence of pregnancy. Yet in doing so, it blocks love. By withholding their fertility, the spouses compromise a love that is free, total, faithful, and fruitful. Natural Family Planning is not an easy path. It requires discipline, communication, and at times, heroic self-control. But it also invites couples into a deeper intimacy. It brings them closer to reflecting the love of God, a self-sacrificial love that completely pours itself out for its beloved.
This isn’t just another item on the list of “no’s;” it’s part of one resounding, wholehearted “yes” to love.
